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Archive · November 2, 2025

NBA Star LeBron James Retires to Become Professional Hide-and-Seek Champion
After dominating basketball, James announces his pivot to competitive hiding, claiming his height gives him an unfair advantage in finding spots no one else can.
NBA Star LeBron James Retires to Become Professional Hide-and-Seek Champion
Rebellious Squirrels Stage Nut Hoarding Protest, Demand Better Acorn Wages
A group of squirrels in Central Park unionizes against low nut yields, picketing trees and causing chaos for joggers and picnickers alike.
Taylor Swift's Latest Album Drops, Featuring Songs About Her Pet Goldfish's Existential Crisis
Swift's new release dives deep into aquatic angst, with tracks that have fans wondering if the goldfish is just a metaphor for her exes.
President Harris Declares War on Stubbed Toes, Vows to Carpet the Entire White House
Amidst rising concerns over household hazards, Kamala Harris launches a national initiative to eliminate stubbed toes, starting with a fluffy makeover of the Oval Office.
Apple's New iBrain Implant Promises to Make You Smarter, But Only If You Pay the Subscription Fee
In a bold move, Apple unveils a neural implant that enhances cognition but locks advanced features behind a monthly paywall, leaving budget users stuck with basic thoughts.
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