Biden and Trump Agree to Debate: Who Will Forget Their Lines First?

In a move that's got political junkies popping popcorn and gerontologists on speed dial, President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump have agreed to a televised debate. The event, set to air on CNN, promises to be less of a policy discussion and more of a senior moment showcase. With both candidates well into their golden years, the real question isn't who will win, but who will remember what they're arguing about halfway through.

Sources close to the campaigns reveal that preparations are underway, with Biden's team reportedly stocking up on cue cards the size of billboards, while Trump's advisors are practicing the art of the dramatic pause to cover any mid-sentence brain freezes. "It's going to be epic," said one anonymous aide. "We're talking about two guys who could turn a simple question about the economy into a rant about their golf handicaps."

The debate rules have been tailored to accommodate the participants' unique needs. Microphones will mute automatically if either candidate starts dozing off, and there will be mandatory hydration breaks every 15 minutes to prevent any embarrassing "senior moments" from turning into full-blown medical alerts. Moderators Jake Tapper and Dana Bash are said to be brushing up on their bingo cards for phrases like "fake news," "sleepy Joe," and "where am I?"

Americans are divided on what to expect. Some are betting on Trump to dominate with his signature bombast, while others predict Biden will pull through with folksy anecdotes that may or may not relate to the topic at hand. One poll even suggests a third of viewers are tuning in just to see if either candidate calls the other by the wrong name – a la "Crooked Hillary" meets "Brandon."

Critics argue this debate is less about leadership and more about endurance. "It's like watching two grandpas argue over the remote control," quipped late-night host Jimmy Fallon in a recent monologue. But hey, in a country where politics is entertainment, this could be the blockbuster of the summer – complete with plot twists, forgotten lines, and maybe even a surprise cameo from a teleprompter repairman.

As the date approaches, bookies in Vegas are offering odds on everything from the number of gaffes to whether someone will need a bathroom break mid-debate. One thing's for sure: win or lose, this verbal joust between octogenarian titans will go down in history – assuming they can remember it.