In a bid to boost national fitness, the White House declares acrobatics essential for economic recovery—clowns rejoice.

President Biden hilariously battles his speech aid, leading to an impromptu declaration of independence from scripted remarks.

In a bold move, the administration proposes taxes that somehow benefit everyone except the rich – wait, that's not how math works.

President Biden's afternoon siesta gets official status, uniting Democrats and Republicans in a rare moment of collective yawning.

President Biden's mix-up during a press briefing leaves diplomats wondering if world peace comes with a cherry on top.

Kamala Harris's new fiscal policy hilariously targets the ultra-wealthy, but insiders whisper it might just be a ploy to upgrade the White House pool.

Feathered whistleblower squawks classified info, leading to hilarious diplomatic mix-ups.

In a rare bipartisan move, lawmakers unite over cheese and pepperoni, declaring it the key to national unity.

President Biden hilariously battles his script-reading device mid-address, blaming it for global warming and prompting calls for a tech truce.

After decades in politics, McConnell plans to trade filibusters for slow-motion shell-dwelling, claiming it's the natural next step in his evolutionary journey.

Vice President turned President Harris takes a stand against household hazards, promising a toe-safe America by 2026.

Amidst economic woes, the Commander-in-Chief shifts focus to the real crisis: milk that's too warm, promising federal funding for crunchier mornings nationwide.

While the nation debates fiscal responsibility, one senator perfects the art of power napping, turning a heated session into a unintentional comedy hour.

After decades of speculation, McConnell reveals his reptilian secret, promising faster bills once he upgrades to a jetpack.

President Biden's afternoon siesta gets official status, inspiring a nation to do absolutely nothing in unison.

Former President Trump claims he's mastered anti-gravity tech during a rally, vowing to make America float again while dismissing centuries of physics as a deep state hoax.

In a bold campaign promise, California Governor Gavin Newsom vows to export his state's unique brand of chaos to the entire nation if elected president.

President Biden confuses foreign policy briefing with a dessert menu, leading to accidental peace talks flavored with vanilla and sprinkles of confusion.

While attempting to discuss foreign policy, the Commander-in-Chief hilariously battles his scripted ally, leaving aides scrambling for damage control.

Sources close to the White House reveal that what we thought were profound policy statements were actually smartphone typos elevated to national discourse.

While attempting to discuss foreign policy, the Commander-in-Chief hilariously battles his scripted ally, leading pundits to wonder if autocue technology is the real enemy of the state.

Senator Elizabeth Warren proposes a bill to tax broken political vows, claiming it could balance the budget overnight if enforced retroactively.

Sources reveal that Joe Biden's eloquent addresses are pieced together from takeout fortunes, explaining why every speech ends with 'You will find great success in bed.'

Elizabeth Warren ramps up her crusade against Wall Street titans by offering complimentary snacks to rally attendees, because nothing says 'economic reform' like buttery incentives.

The tech mogul expands his empire beyond Twitter, insisting that planetary governance is just another side hustle.

Billionaire Elon Musk rebrands his social media empire, promising users a one-way ticket to Mars if they just keep tweeting nonsense.

In a stunning display of corporate shortsightedness, a leftist employee is utterly perplexed as to why their boss isn't keen on keeping a bona fide psychopath on the payroll.

The billionaire mogul appoints himself interplanetary diplomat, insisting on cosmic tolls for any future space travelers.

Lawmakers argue that forcing Americans to wake up early is a violation of human rights, proposing mandatory siestas instead to boost national productivity.

Politicians celebrate the new legislation that allows deducting empty gestures from taxes, proving once again that empathy is best served with a side of fiscal benefits.

Lawmakers unite in bipartisan bliss over legislation declaring pizza supreme, with amendments ensuring pineapple toppings remain a matter of personal freedom.

Lawmakers high-five over a bipartisan deal that somehow forgets to include relief for everyday folks, proving unity is possible when pork barrels are involved.

As Kamala Harris steps up as the Democratic frontrunner, her team scrambles to edit out the awkward laughs from her first big speech.

As the two elderly statesmen prepare for a verbal showdown, Americans brace for a spectacle of gaffes, grudges, and possibly a nap break.

The presidential showdown turns into a comedy roast, with candidates dodging questions faster than dodging taxes.

In a bipartisan miracle, lawmakers dig deep—literally—into the Capitol's furniture to keep the lights on, proving that every penny counts, especially when it's covered in lint.

In a stunning display of legislative rhythm, Congress votes to ban TikTok, citing national security threats while secretly confessing their two left feet are the real danger.

In a tearful display, party leaders demand a recount on who truly paid their fair share for the last pepperoni wedge.

In a move that's ruffling feathers across the political spectrum, the President's colorful companion has been promoted from perch to podium.

In an unprecedented show of unity, Democrats emphasize their commitment to obstruction over bipartisan cooperation, citing their opposition to anything that might inadvertently help the former president's reputation.

In a flex of misplaced priorities, two Democratic senators skipped a key vote to settle a beef via arm-wrestling, allowing the GOP to muscle through their agenda.

In a press conference that felt like déjà vu, the current President outlines how the last four years have left a trail of chaos including high gas prices and inexplicably vanishing laundry.

Bipartisanship reaches REM cycle with the use of pillows and afternoon naps.