Washington, D.C. – In a bizarre turn of events that's left the White House staff yawning more than deliberating, the ghost of former President Joe Biden has allegedly taken up residence in the Oval Office. Sources close to the spectral sighting claim that Biden's apparition is not content with just rattling chains or moaning mysteriously; instead, he's on a mission to implement a strict naptime policy for all personnel.

The hauntings reportedly began shortly after the current administration settled in, with aides noticing an inexplicable urge to doze off during critical meetings. "It's like clockwork," whispered one anonymous staffer, fighting back a yawn. "Every afternoon around 2 PM, this translucent figure appears, mumbling something about 'ice cream and shut-eye' before everyone starts nodding off."

President Harris – wait, we mean the current occupant – has been seen consulting with paranormal experts, but to no avail. The ghostly Biden insists that mandatory siestas are essential for 'recharging the ol' batteries,' a phrase he allegedly mutters while phasing through walls. This has led to some awkward international calls, where foreign dignitaries are left on hold as the entire West Wing catches forty winks.

Critics from the opposition party are crying foul, accusing the apparition of being a Democratic ploy to sabotage productivity. "This is just Biden's way of ensuring no real work gets done," quipped a Republican senator, who ironically fell asleep mid-interview. Meanwhile, supporters argue that the enforced naps have led to fewer policy blunders, as sleepy staff are less likely to make hasty decisions.

Even the Secret Service isn't immune. Agents report seeing the spectral Biden rearranging pillows in the Situation Room, turning high-stakes briefings into impromptu slumber parties. One agent confessed, "I tried to tase the ghost, but my taser just passed right through him. Now he's got me scheduled for a 3 PM power nap."

The White House press corps is having a field day – or rather, a field nap – with the story. Journalists have started bringing sleeping bags to press briefings, just in case the ghost makes an appearance. "It's the most restful scandal I've covered," joked a veteran reporter, eyelids drooping.

As the hauntings continue, experts speculate on how to exorcise the former president. Suggestions range from offering him a lifetime supply of aviator sunglasses to playing recordings of his old speeches on loop – anything to bore him back to the afterlife.

In the meantime, the White House has adapted by scheduling all important decisions before noon. "Who knew governance could be so... relaxing?" mused an aide, before succumbing to another Biden-induced snooze.