Washington, D.C. - In what can only be described as a brain freeze of epic proportions, President Joe Biden turned a routine press conference into a sundae special yesterday. While addressing tensions in the Middle East, Biden reportedly paused, squinted at the podium, and declared, "I'll have a double scoop of diplomacy with extra sprinkles of sanctions." Aides were left melting under the spotlight, unsure whether to laugh or call for a cone of silence.

The mix-up allegedly stemmed from Biden's well-known love affair with ice cream, which has now apparently infiltrated the highest levels of government. Sources close to the President say he's been known to sneak pints of rocky road into late-night briefings, but this time, it seems the flavors got crossed with foreign policy. "We were talking about Iran, and suddenly he's ordering a banana split accord," whispered one flustered advisor, who wished to remain anonymous lest they be demoted to topping duty.

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre attempted to spin the gaffe into something palatable, claiming it was a "creative metaphor for multilateral negotiations." But critics weren't buying it, with one Republican senator quipping, "If Biden thinks diplomacy is like ice cream, no wonder our enemies are licking their chops." The incident has sparked a flurry of memes online, including Photoshopped images of world leaders sharing milkshakes at the UN.

Not to be outdone, former President Donald Trump took to Truth Social to mock the moment, posting, "Sleepy Joe can't tell the Oval Office from Baskin-Robbins! I'd make America great again with a triple scoop of winning!" Meanwhile, Biden's team is reportedly implementing new protocols, like hiding the mini-fridge during important meetings and replacing briefing binders with flavorless dossiers.

As the dust settles—or should we say, the whipped cream—analysts are pondering the long-term effects on U.S. credibility. Will allies start demanding cherry-on-top concessions? Or will this lead to a new era of 'soft serve' politics? One thing's for sure: in the world of Washington, sometimes the scoops are more entertaining than the scandals.

Stay tuned to Not Necessarily The News for more updates on this developing story. Who knows, maybe next time Biden will confuse the nuclear football with a waffle cone. Fingers crossed it's not mint chocolate chip Armageddon.