WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a move that's flipping the script on traditional tax policy, President [Name Redacted for Satirical Purposes] unveiled a groundbreaking initiative today: generous tax breaks for any American who can execute a flawless cartwheel. Dubbed the 'Tumble for Taxes' program, the plan aims to somersault the nation into peak physical condition while stimulating the economy through increased circus attendance and spandex sales.

White House officials explained that the tax incentive, offering up to $5,000 in deductions, is reserved for those who can demonstrate a cartwheel with 'perfect form' – no wobbles, no face-plants, and absolutely no assistance from trampolines or overly enthusiastic pets. Applicants must submit video evidence to the IRS, where a panel of former gymnasts and retired clowns will judge submissions. 'It's time we rewarded agility over affluence,' said the President's chief economic advisor, who admitted to practicing her own cartwheels in the Oval Office.

Critics are already tumbling over themselves to decry the plan as discriminatory against the less coordinated. 'What about those of us who can barely tie our shoes without pulling a muscle?' lamented one sedentary senator during a heated congressional hearing. Supporters, however, argue it's a step toward a healthier America, pointing to studies showing that cartwheeling burns more calories than scrolling through social media – though admittedly, it's a close race.

The economic ripple effects are expected to be enormous. Gym memberships are predicted to skyrocket, and playground equipment manufacturers are already reporting backorders. Even the clown community is ecstatic; the International Brotherhood of Clowns released a statement saying, 'Finally, our skills are being recognized as the fiscal foundation of this great nation.' One professional jester quipped, 'I've been cartwheeling for peanuts – now I'll be doing it for tax refunds!'

Not everyone is on board with the acrobatic agenda. Fitness experts warn of a potential epidemic of sprained ankles and bruised egos, while tax preparers brace for an influx of questionable videos featuring middle-aged dads attempting feats of flexibility last seen in their kindergarten days. 'We're going to need a bigger server for all these cartwheel fails,' joked an IRS spokesperson, who then demonstrated her own imperfect tumble for emphasis.

In a surprising twist, the plan includes provisions for 'cartwheel alternatives' for those with disabilities, such as tax credits for impressive finger puppets or expert-level eyebrow raises. The President defended the inclusive measures, stating, 'Everyone deserves a chance to flip their way to financial freedom.' As the nation prepares to get bendy, one thing's for sure: American politics has never been this upside-down.

Economists project that if successful, the program could add billions to the GDP through reduced healthcare costs and increased productivity from all that extra tumbling energy. Meanwhile, late-night comics are already practicing their routines, ensuring that this policy will keep the laughs rolling long after the tax forms are filed.