In a press conference that will go down in history as the Battle of the Bulge-eyed Blunders, President Joe Biden turned what was supposed to be a routine briefing on economic policy into a full-on feud with his teleprompter. Midway through his speech, Biden paused, squinted at the glowing screen, and declared, "You know, folks, this thing has been out to get me since day one. It's time we settle this like men—or man and machine!" The room erupted in a mix of laughter and confusion, as reporters wondered if this was the start of a new AI arms race.

The teleprompter, an innocent piece of technology minding its own pixels, suddenly became public enemy number one. Biden accused it of sabotaging his speeches by "scrolling too fast" and "hiding the good lines." "I've beaten tougher opponents," he quipped, referencing his long political career. "Corn Pop was a bad dude, but this teleprompter? It's the real slippery character." White House staffers were seen frantically adjusting settings, but Biden wasn't having it—he demanded a "rematch" right there on the spot.

As the drama unfolded, Biden improvised a rant that veered from policy points to personal vendettas. "This autocue thinks it's smarter than me? Well, I've got 50 years in Washington, and it's got... what? A plug and some software? Come on, man!" The president's frustration peaked when the teleprompter glitched, displaying what appeared to be a recipe for ice cream instead of his notes on inflation. "See? It's mocking me!" he exclaimed, drawing chuckles from the press corps.

Not one to back down, Biden challenged the device to a debate. "Let's go, you versus me, no scripts, no holds barred," he said, pumping his fist. Secret Service agents exchanged nervous glances, unsure if they needed to intervene in this unprecedented man-vs-machine showdown. Meanwhile, Vice President Kamala Harris was spotted in the background, trying not to laugh as she whispered suggestions to aides.

By the end of the conference, Biden had declared victory, claiming the teleprompter "blinked first" when it froze mid-sentence. "That's right, I stared it down," he boasted. The incident has sparked memes across social media, with users photoshopping Biden in wrestling rings facing off against giant screens. White House officials later clarified that it was all in good fun, but sources say the president is now eyeing voice-activated alternatives—just in case.

Critics from the other side of the aisle couldn't resist piling on. One Republican senator tweeted, "If Biden can't handle a teleprompter, how's he handling the country?" But supporters defended him, saying it shows his "relatable human side." As for the teleprompter? It's reportedly in therapy, recovering from the verbal assault.

In the annals of presidential gaffes, this one ranks up there with Bush's pretzel incident or Trump's covfefe tweet. Biden, ever the fighter, turned a potential embarrassment into a hilarious highlight reel. Who knew international diplomacy could take a backseat to domestic tech troubles?