In a scene straight out of a spy comedy, President Jasper Thornwood's beloved pet parrot, Polly, turned a routine White House press conference into an international fiasco yesterday. While perched on the president's shoulder, the colorful bird suddenly began reciting what sounded suspiciously like top-secret nuclear codes, much to the horror of aides and the delight of reporters.

Polly, known for her impeccable mimicry skills, apparently picked up the sensitive information during late-night strategy sessions in the Oval Office. "The bird's got a better memory than half my cabinet," quipped one anonymous source, as diplomats from around the world scrambled to decode the squawked revelations.

The leaks didn't stop at codes; Polly went on to impersonate foreign leaders with uncanny accuracy, including a spot-on rendition of the Russian president's gruff accent discussing trade deals. This led to immediate confusion, with ambassadors demanding clarifications and one even sending a strongly worded tweet about 'avian interference in global affairs.'

White House press secretary Lila Hargrove tried to downplay the incident, claiming it was all 'harmless parroting.' But experts aren't buying it. Ornithologist Dr. Elena Featherby noted, "Parrots are natural eavesdroppers. If you don't want secrets spilled, maybe don't discuss them in front of a bird with a vocabulary of over 500 words."

As the story unfolds, merchandise featuring Polly the Whistleblower is already hitting online stores, from T-shirts to coffee mugs emblazoned with 'Squawk if you know something.' The president, meanwhile, has reportedly grounded the parrot from future appearances, opting instead for a less talkative goldfish.

International reactions have been a mix of amusement and alarm. The UN held an emergency session titled 'Feathered Threats to National Security,' where delegates debated whether to classify parrots as potential intelligence risks. One proposal even suggested mandatory background checks for presidential pets.

In a twist of irony, Polly's outburst may have inadvertently fostered better diplomatic relations. Leaders from rival nations bonded over shared laughter at the absurdity, with some suggesting a 'Parrot Peace Summit' to capitalize on the goodwill.

Critics, however, warn that this could set a dangerous precedent. "Today it's a parrot leaking codes; tomorrow it could be a presidential hamster hacking emails," said security analyst Mark Secureton. The White House assures the public that all pets are now under strict 'no-fly' zones regarding classified info.