In a bold move that's either revolutionary or just plain lazy, Hollywood's newest superhero flick, 'Avengers: Eco-Warriors,' has our favorite caped crusaders ditching epic battles for eco-friendly chores. Instead of punching aliens or thwarting mad scientists, Iron Man is seen sorting recyclables, while Captain America lectures villains on composting. Directed by the environmentally conscious filmmaker Greta Greenwash, the movie promises to 'save the planet one reusable bag at a time,' but early screenings suggest it's more likely to save audiences from excitement.

Critics are divided, or rather, unanimously bored. 'Eco-Boring' is the term coined by film reviewer Skip Reel, who said, 'Watching superheroes fight climate change with paper straws is like watching paint dry—except the paint is biodegradable.' The plot revolves around a villain named Carbon Footprint, whose evil plan involves... excessive plastic use? Our heroes counter with high-stakes actions like planting trees and turning off lights. Thrilling stuff.

Audiences at test screenings were reportedly falling asleep faster than a polar bear on melting ice. One viewer quipped, 'I came for explosions, but all I got was this lousy tote bag.' Even the special effects budget seems to have gone green—recycled from previous films, apparently. No wonder the box office projections are as flat as a deflated balloon animal made from recycled rubber.

But not everyone's complaining. Environmental activists are hailing it as a masterpiece. 'Finally, a film that addresses real issues without all that unnecessary violence,' said one tree-hugger. Meanwhile, the studio defends the film, claiming it's 'pioneering a new genre: sustainable cinema.' They even boast about the carbon-neutral production, achieved by having actors bike to set and use solar-powered cameras. Who needs plot when you've got virtue signaling?

In a twist that's more ironic than a villain's monologue, the movie's merchandise includes eco-friendly action figures made from recycled plastic. Because nothing says 'fight pollution' like buying more stuff. As the release date approaches, one thing's clear: if 'Avengers: Eco-Warriors' flops, it won't be the end of the world—just the end of Hollywood's green phase. Or so we hope.

For those still interested, the post-credits scene teases a sequel where the heroes tackle overfishing with vegan sushi. Yawn. Perhaps it's time for superheroes to retire and let real activists handle the saving. After all, in the battle against boredom, this film is the ultimate supervillain.