In a bold move that's either genius or a cry for help, celebrity chef Marco Linguini has stunned the culinary world by preparing an entire three-course meal using nothing but emojis. Yes, you read that right—those little icons from your phone are now on the menu. Linguini, known for his eccentric TV appearances and a cookbook titled 'Spatula Shenanigans,' claims this is the future of cooking. 'Why use words when pictures speak a thousand bites?' he quipped during a live stream that garnered over a million views in hours.

The appetizer kicked off with a eggplant emoji salad, which Linguini interpreted as grilled aubergines tossed with fire and sweat droplets for that extra 'zing.' Diners reported a confusing mix of flavors, with one guest mistaking the sweat for actual perspiration. 'It was innovative, but I felt like I was eating my phone's autocorrect suggestions,' said food critic Bella Forks. Despite the bewilderment, plates were cleared, proving that hunger trumps confusion every time.

Moving to the main course, Linguini unveiled a pizza emoji feast, complete with toppings that included smiling poo emojis reimagined as chocolate truffles. 'It's all about perspective,' he explained, while dodging health inspectors' glares. The viral video showed guests hesitantly nibbling, their faces a mix of horror and reluctant delight. Social media exploded with memes, one popular one showing a crying laughing face next to a vomit emoji—aptly summing up the experience.

For dessert, the chef presented a series of fruit emojis baked into a pie, but with a twist: the banana emoji was flambéed with actual fire emojis printed on flammable paper. 'Sustainability meets symbolism,' Linguini boasted. Firefighters were on standby, but thankfully, no blazes ensued. Attendees left full but philosophically pondering if they've been emoji-fied themselves.

Critics are divided. Some hail it as a satirical jab at our digital-obsessed society, while others suspect it's just a ploy for more Instagram followers. Linguini's next project? A cookbook entirely in Wingdings font. As the internet buzzes, one thing's clear: in the world of viral cuisine, even the absurd can fill bellies and timelines.

Not to be outdone, rival chefs are jumping on the bandwagon. Expect unicorn emoji soufflés and dancing lady tacos soon. But for now, Linguini's emoji extravaganza has set the bar—or should we say, the keyboard—high for culinary innovation.