In a tearful press conference that had more drama than a Scorsese flick, Robert De Niro broke down sobbing over what he calls the 'ultimate snub' from Donald Trump: not being thrown into a jail cell yet.

'I've been calling him every name in the book for years,' De Niro wailed, clutching a tissue like it was an Academy Award. 'I mean, come on, I've earned my spot in the big house! Where's my orange jumpsuit?'

Sources close to the actor say De Niro has been preparing for incarceration by practicing his tough-guy stare in the mirror and binge-watching 'Orange Is the New Black.' But alas, no secret service agents have shown up to cuff him.

Trump, when reached for comment via his gold-plated phone, reportedly chuckled and said, 'Bobby who? Oh, that guy from the movies? Tell him to get in line behind the other crybabies.'

De Niro's fellow celebrities are divided; some are jealous of his unfulfilled jail fantasy, while others are offering to start a GoFundMe for his 'preemptive bail fund.'

As the actor continues his public pity party, experts warn this could be the start of a new trend: Hollywood stars begging for political persecution to boost their street cred.

In a final sniffle, De Niro vowed, 'If Trump gets back in, I'm holding him to it. Lock me up or lose my vote!' Because nothing says democracy like demanding your own arrest.