In a plot twist straight out of a bad comedy sketch, Robert De Niro, the man who once stared down Al Capone in 'The Untouchables,' is reportedly baffled about whether he untouchably soiled himself during a recent anti-Trump tirade. Sources close to the actor say the incident occurred mid-rant, leaving De Niro pondering life's great mysteries: taxes, death, and did I just poop my pants?

The event unfolded at a high-profile awards show where De Niro, known for his roles in gritty dramas, decided to go full improv with a profanity-laced monologue against the former president. Eyewitnesses described a moment of awkward silence following a particularly vehement outburst, during which De Niro's face contorted in what could have been rage—or regret. 'It was like watching Taxi Driver, but with more gas,' quipped one attendee.

De Niro's team has been tight-lipped, but insiders whisper that the actor spent the afterparty in a state of existential crisis, sniffing around for clues. 'Bob's always been method,' said a friend. 'But method acting doesn't usually involve method crapping.' Meanwhile, Trump supporters on social media have dubbed it 'De Niro's Dirty Protest,' turning the potential mishap into meme gold.

Not one to back down, De Niro addressed the rumors in a cryptic statement: 'You talkin' to me? Well, if I did, it was Trump's fault—everything is.' Analysts are divided on whether this confirms or denies the allegations, but one thing's clear: the scent of scandal lingers. Political pundits speculate this could be a new low in celebrity activism, or perhaps just a high-fiber diet gone wrong.

As the story spreads like wildfire—or something less pleasant—fans are rallying around De Niro, starting a GoFundMe for 'adult diapers for actors who hate Trump.' The campaign has raised enough to outfit an entire cast of 'Goodfellas' with emergency undergarments. De Niro, ever the professional, is said to be preparing for his next role: a biopic on the inventor of Febreze.

In the end, whether De Niro did or didn't drop a deuce remains a mystery wrapped in an enigma, possibly wrapped in soiled trousers. But in the world of Hollywood satire, one truth prevails: when it comes to ranting about politics, sometimes you just gotta let it all out—intentionally or not.