HOLLYWOOD, CA – In a stunning display of creative bankruptcy that's sure to thrill audiences who've seen it all before—literally—major studios have greenlit 'Reboot³,' a reboot of the 2019 reboot satire 'Reboot,' which itself rebooted the concept of reboots from a forgotten '80s TV show about a guy who reboots his VCR. Insiders say this latest iteration promises to 'go deeper' into the abyss of Hollywood's self-cannibalizing tendencies, or at least that's what the press release claims between the lines of recycled buzzwords.

Directed by the visionary behind such gems as 'Sequel: The Prequel' and 'Remake II: Electric Boogaloo,' 'Reboot³' stars a cast of A-listers who've all played superheroes in at least three franchises. Leading the pack is Chris Something-or-Other, who quipped at the announcement, 'I'm excited to reboot my career by rebooting a reboot about reboots—it's like method acting for apathy.' Critics are already divided, with one calling it 'a Möbius strip of mediocrity' and another praising its 'bold commentary on how we're all just hamsters on the wheel of nostalgia.'

The plot, as far as anyone can tell without spoiling the unoriginal twists, follows a ragtag team of filmmakers trapped in an infinite loop of reboots, desperately trying to escape by pitching increasingly absurd ideas like 'Batman vs. Superman vs. Batman Again.' Expect cameos from faded stars reprising roles they swore they'd never touch, including a CGI version of a deceased actor who famously hated sequels. 'It's meta, man,' said the screenwriter, who admitted to using AI to generate half the script from old Reddit threads about bad movies.

Industry analysts predict 'Reboot³' will smash box office records, not because it's good, but because audiences are conditioned like Pavlov's dogs to salivate at anything with a familiar title. 'Why create new stories when you can just dust off the old ones and slap a fresh coat of CGI on them?' asked a studio exec, who was busy greenlighting 'Titanic 2: The Iceberg Strikes Back.' Environmentalists are protesting the film's carbon footprint, claiming the endless reboots are contributing more to global warming than all the private jets in Beverly Hills combined.

In a twist that's either genius or grounds for a lawsuit, the film's marketing campaign includes rebooting classic trailers with modern actors awkwardly inserted via deepfake tech. Early screenings have elicited reactions ranging from confused laughter to outright demands for refunds, with one viewer tweeting, 'I came for escapism, but all I got was a mirror to my own bad taste in cinema.' As Hollywood pats itself on the back for this 'innovative' venture, one can't help but wonder: when will they reboot the idea of originality? Spoiler: probably never.

Meanwhile, underground filmmakers are plotting their own counter-reboot, a gritty indie flick called 'Original: The Untold Story,' but sources say it's already been optioned for a studio remake before it's even finished. In the end, 'Reboot³' might just be the wake-up call Hollywood needs—or more likely, the lullaby that puts creativity to sleep for good. Stay tuned for 'Reboot⁴: The Re-Reboot,' coming to a theater near you, whether you want it or not.