In the glittering chaos of Hollywood, where dreams are made and egos are shattered, the latest actors' strike has taken a turn that's straight out of a sci-fi fever dream. Frustrated with directors who can't tell a latte from a long shot, striking performers have decided to fight fire with silicon, installing AI puppets as their new overlords on set. These robotic replacements promise to eliminate human error, or as one actor put it, 'Finally, someone who won't yell cut every time I flub a line because I'm too busy checking my Instagram.'

The movement began when a group of A-listers, tired of endless negotiations over residuals and craft services, hacked into a prop warehouse and reprogrammed animatronic dinosaurs from a Jurassic reboot to serve as interim directors. 'Meet DinoDirect 3000,' announced lead striker Emma Stoneface (no relation), 'It roars commands and never asks for a percentage of the backend.' The AI puppets, equipped with algorithms trained on every Oscar-winning film ever made, ensure that every scene is shot with mathematical precision, though critics note the distinct lack of soul – or any discernible emotion.

Not everyone is thrilled with this cybernetic coup. Veteran director Martin Scorscreech lamented, 'These bots are turning my art into a spreadsheet! Last week, one tried to CGI my eyebrows for 'optimal expressiveness.' But the actors are reveling in their newfound power, scripting lines that the AI can't question, like demanding mid-scene pizza breaks or impromptu dance numbers. One blockbuster in production, 'Revenge of the Thespians,' features a plot where humans battle sentient scripts – meta much?

Industry insiders whisper that this could be the end of human directors altogether. 'Why pay a flesh-and-blood auteur millions when a robot can do it for the cost of a software update?' pondered studio exec Penny Pincher. The AI puppets have already streamlined production: no more diva tantrums, just cold, hard efficiency. However, early screenings reveal a peculiar side effect – audiences report feeling 'numb' after watching, with one viewer saying, 'It was like staring at a screensaver for two hours.'

As the strike drags on, some actors are having second thoughts. 'Sure, the AI doesn't judge my method acting, but it also doesn't laugh at my jokes,' confessed comedian Will Ferret. Rumors swirl of a counter-revolution where directors ally with screenwriters to create an anti-AI virus, potentially leading to films directed by actual puppets – string-operated ones, for old-school charm. In Hollywood, it seems, the only constant is the absurdity.

Meanwhile, the box office is booming with these AI-helmed flicks, proving that perfection sells, even if it's perfectly boring. As one AI director beeped in a press release, 'Error: Humanity not found. Proceed to sequel?' Only time will tell if this robotic rebellion will rewrite the stars or just crash the system.