In a bold move that's left audiences yawning and critics reaching for the recycle bin, Hollywood's newest superhero epic, 'Eco-Avengers: Trash Day,' has hit theaters with all the force of a gently tossed aluminum can. Directed by the environmentally conscious visionary Greta Greenwash, the film follows a team of caped do-gooders who ditch laser beams and super strength in favor of sorting recyclables and lecturing villains on carbon footprints.

The plot kicks off when the nefarious Dr. Polluto unleashes his master plan: a giant machine that turns the world's oceans into one big plastic soup. Enter our heroes—Captain Compost, Recycle Woman, and the Solar-Powered Sloth—who assemble not with dramatic music swells, but with a montage of them attending a zero-waste workshop. 'Why punch when you can persuade?' quips Captain Compost, as he convinces a henchman to switch to reusable shopping bags mid-fight.

Critics have been merciless, dubbing it 'the blockbuster that biodegrades before your eyes.' One reviewer noted, 'It's like watching paint dry, except the paint is eco-friendly and low-VOC.' Box office numbers are similarly lackluster, with opening weekend earnings barely covering the cost of the film's biodegradable popcorn buckets.

But not everyone's throwing shade. Environmental activists are praising the film for its message, even if the execution feels as recycled as last year's plotlines. 'Finally, a movie that shows heroes saving the planet without blowing it up first,' said one enthusiast, conveniently ignoring the two-hour runtime filled with product placements for organic kale chips.

In a twist that's pure Hollywood irony, rumors swirl that the production itself generated more waste than a typical action flick, thanks to all those private jets ferrying stars to 'green' press junkets. As one insider whispered, 'They saved the world on screen, but off-screen, it's business as usual—limos and lattes all around.'

Will 'Eco-Avengers' spawn a franchise? Only if audiences can stomach sequels like 'The Wrath of Litter' or 'Dawn of the Compost Heap.' For now, it's clear that while saving the planet is noble, saving the summer movie season might require a bit more explosions and a lot less virtue signaling.

One thing's for sure: in the battle against climate change, these superheroes prove that sometimes, the real villain is a poorly written script. As the credits roll with tips on reducing your water usage, viewers are left wondering if they just watched a movie or a very long public service announcement.