In the latest episode of 'Social Media Solves Racism,' a grand total of one or possibly two online sleuths have declared Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce a card-carrying racist. Their evidence? He popped the question to pop superstar Taylor Swift, who is white, instead of getting back with his ex-girlfriend, model Kayla Nicole, who is Black. Because, you know, that's how relationships work – like a mandatory diversity quota at the altar.

These intrepid investigators, whose combined follower count might rival that of a moderately successful cat meme account, took to X (formerly Twitter) to air their grievances. 'Kelce choosing Swift over Nicole? Classic white supremacy at play,' tweeted @TruthTeller69, whose bio proudly proclaims expertise in 'exposing the matrix.' Not to be outdone, @WokeWarrior420 added, 'It's giving plantation vibes. Wake up, sheeple!' Meanwhile, the rest of the internet collectively yawned and scrolled on.

Let's rewind for context, shall we? Kelce and Nicole dated on and off from 2017 to 2022, a relationship that ended amicably, or so we thought until these two keyboard crusaders decided otherwise. Enter Taylor Swift in 2023, and suddenly Kelce's love life is under the microscope of amateur sociologists. Proposing to Swift? Must be racism. Not proposing to Nicole? Also racism. Breathing? Probably racism too, if you squint hard enough.

Experts in actual sociology – you know, the ones with degrees and not just strong opinions – were quick to point out the absurdity. 'Relationships are complex and personal,' said Dr. Emily Rational, a relationship therapist not affiliated with this satire. 'Accusing someone of racism based on who they date is like calling a vegan a murderer for eating tofu. It just doesn't compute.' But hey, why let facts get in the way of a good viral outrage?

Swift and Kelce, blissfully unaware or perhaps giggling in their luxury bunker, have yet to respond to the allegations from these digital Davids taking on their Goliath romance. Sources close to the couple (okay, fine, our imagination) report that they're too busy planning a wedding playlist featuring both 'Shake It Off' and touchdown celebrations to care about the peanut gallery.

Meanwhile, Kayla Nicole has been living her best life, slaying on social media and launching her own fitness brand. If she's harboring any ill will, she's not showing it – unlike our two heroes who seem personally offended on her behalf. Pro tip: Maybe ask the actual people involved before crowning yourselves spokespeople for racial justice.

In a plot twist that surprises no one, this micro-controversy has already fizzled out faster than a Kelce touchdown dance. But fear not, internet; there's always another celebrity couple to dissect. Next up: Is Tom Hanks racist for not dating Oprah? Stay tuned for more groundbreaking analysis from the comfort of basements everywhere.