In a bold pivot from universe-ending threats and CGI explosions, Marvel Studios has unveiled their newest blockbuster: 'Eco-Man: The Green Awakening.' Forget infinity stones and mad titans; this hero's arch-nemesis is the unchecked proliferation of plastic straws. Directed by a filmmaker whose previous credits include eco-documentaries and a short film about composting, the movie promises to save the planet one recycled bottle at a time.

Eco-Man, portrayed by a chiseled actor better known for romantic comedies, discovers his powers after a freak accident involving a malfunctioning solar panel and a pile of organic waste. His abilities? Superhuman nagging, the power to sort recyclables at lightning speed, and an unbreakable shield made from repurposed yogurt containers. 'With great power comes great responsibility... to reduce, reuse, and recycle,' he solemnly intones in the trailer, while sternly lecturing a group of litterbugs.

The plot follows Eco-Man as he assembles a team of eco-avengers, including Captain Compost, a hero who turns food scraps into fertile soil, and Wind Woman, who harnesses gusts to power turbines. Together, they battle the dastardly Plastic Baron, a villain whose evil plan involves flooding the oceans with single-use bags. High-stakes action scenes include a thrilling chase through a recycling plant and a dramatic confrontation at a landfill, where Eco-Man defeats foes by trapping them in biodegradable nets.

Critics are divided: some praise the film's timely message on climate change, calling it 'the hero we need right now,' while others lament the lack of explosions, quipping that the only thing blowing up is the audience's boredom. One reviewer noted, 'It's like if Thor traded his hammer for a reusable water bottle and spent two hours guilt-tripping Loki about his carbon footprint.'

Marvel fans are buzzing about cameos, with rumors of Iron Man appearing to upgrade his suit with solar panels, and Hulk smashing through a wall of non-biodegradable waste. The post-credits scene reportedly teases a crossover with the Guardians of the Galaxy, where they discuss interstellar recycling protocols. Box office projections are optimistic, banking on eco-conscious millennials to turn out in droves.

In a satirical twist, the movie's merchandise includes action figures made from recycled plastic, and tie-in products like Eco-Man branded reusable shopping bags. Environmental groups have endorsed the film, though some activists point out the irony of a Hollywood production with a massive carbon footprint promoting sustainability.

Ultimately, 'Eco-Man' might not topple Thanos in terms of epic scale, but it could inspire a generation to pick up their trash. As the tagline says, 'The real infinity war is against infinite waste.' Whether this green hero saves the day or just the box office remains to be seen, but one thing's for sure: single-use plastics are shaking in their non-recyclable boots.