SAN FRANCISCO – In a groundbreaking announcement that's sure to thrill escapists everywhere, Meta has launched its latest VR headset, dubbed the 'Reality Eraser Pro.' Company executives claim this device is so advanced, it doesn't just blur the lines between virtual and real worlds—it erases them entirely. 'Why deal with bills, traffic, or awkward family dinners when you can live in a perpetual state of blissful denial?' asked a beaming Mark Zuckerberg during the unveiling.

The headset boasts features like ultra-high-definition graphics that make your living room look like a dump compared to its virtual paradises. Users can stroll through enchanted forests, attend virtual rock concerts, or even simulate a successful career—all without leaving their beanbag chair. Early testers reported forgetting to eat for days, leading Meta to add a 'nutrition reminder' feature that politely suggests, 'Hey, maybe order a pizza in the real world?'

Critics, however, are raising eyebrows. 'This is basically a high-tech way to check out of society,' said tech analyst Dr. Elena Virtuale. 'We've seen people get lost in video games before, but this takes it to a whole new level. Imagine forgetting your own birthday because you're too busy being a virtual superhero.' Meta's response? 'That's the point!'

One standout feature is the 'Emotional Escape Mode,' which detects stress levels and whisks users away to calming scenarios. Feeling overwhelmed at work? Poof—you're on a yacht in the Mediterranean. Relationship troubles? Hello, virtual speed dating with AI companions who never argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes.

But it's not all sunshine and virtual rainbows. Beta users have complained about 'reality withdrawal symptoms,' including confusion upon removal of the headset. 'I tried to swipe left on my actual coffee mug,' confessed one participant. Meta assures us they're working on a 'gentle re-entry' protocol to ease users back into the drudgery of everyday life.

In a nod to productivity, the headset includes a 'WorkWorld' app, where you can attend meetings as an avatar in a floating conference room. Forget boring office politics; now you can fire your virtual boss without consequences. Just don't try that in real life, warns the fine print.

As Meta pushes the boundaries of immersion, one thing is clear: the line between enhancement and escapism is getting thinner than a smartphone screen. Will the Reality Eraser Pro revolutionize entertainment, or just create a generation of couch-bound dreamers? Only time—and perhaps a few missed rent payments—will tell.