In a groundbreaking move that's sure to revolutionize the world of sports, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has officially added Competitive Napping to the lineup for the 2028 Los Angeles Games. Officials cite the growing global fatigue epidemic as the primary reason, arguing that in a world where everyone's perpetually exhausted, it's high time we celebrate the art of doing absolutely nothing.

Aspiring nappers from around the globe are already in rigorous training, which mostly involves setting multiple alarms and then ignoring them. "It's all about technique," says coach Snooze McSlumber from Team USA. "You have to master the perfect roll-over-and-mutter technique to score those extra points." Competitors will be judged on criteria like drool control, snore volume, and the ability to ignore blaring wake-up calls.

The event has sparked controversy among traditional athletes, with marathon runners complaining that nappers get to 'train' in bed while they pound the pavement. "Where's the fairness?" whines one sprinter. But IOC spokesperson Dozy Daniels counters, "This is inclusivity at its finest. Finally, couch potatoes have a shot at glory without leaving their sofas."

Training regimens are intense yet ironically relaxing. Athletes practice power naps in simulated high-stress environments, like noisy coffee shops or during boring Zoom meetings. One top contender from Japan has reportedly mastered the art of napping standing up on crowded trains, earning him the nickname "The Vertical Snoozer."

Sponsors are lining up faster than you can say "zzzz." Mattress companies are throwing money at the event, with one brand offering gold-plated pillows to medalists. Even caffeine giants are getting in on the action, paradoxically promoting their products as the perfect pre-nap boost.

Critics worry this could open the floodgates to other lazy sports, like Competitive Procrastination or Extreme Channel Surfing. But for now, the napping community is buzzing—or rather, humming softly—with excitement. As one athlete puts it, "I've been preparing for this my whole life... by not preparing at all."

The 2028 Games promise to be the most restful yet, with viewers encouraged to watch from the comfort of their own beds. Who knows? Maybe you'll wake up to find you've accidentally qualified just by sleeping through the broadcast.