In a bold move that's got New Yorkers nuts, the squirrels of Central Park have reportedly ditched their solitary foraging ways and formed a full-fledged nut-sharing co-op. Dubbed 'Acorn Allies,' this rodent-run collective is shaking up the park's ecosystem faster than a tourist dropping a hot dog.

According to eyewitness accounts from baffled joggers and picnickers, the squirrels have established a barter system where acorns serve as currency. Prime park bench real estate—those shady spots with killer views of the Bethesda Fountain—are now up for grabs, traded for stockpiles of premium nuts. 'It's like Wall Street, but with more tails and fewer suits,' quipped one anonymous birdwatcher.

The co-op's leaders, a pair of bushy-tailed visionaries named Nutmeg and Scamper, allegedly held a clandestine meeting under the Great Lawn's largest oak. There, they outlined a manifesto: 'From each according to his foraging ability, to each according to his need for a comfy perch.' Human economists are scratching their heads, wondering if this could solve inflation—or at least the pigeon problem.

Not everyone's thrilled with the new order. Rival chipmunk gangs from the Ramble are reportedly plotting a hostile takeover, armed with hazelnuts and a grudge. Meanwhile, park rangers are torn between admiration and annoyance, as squirrels have started leaving tiny 'rent' notices on benches, complete with acorn IOUs.

In a satirical twist, the co-op has even branched out into services. Need a nut cracked? There's a squirrel for that. Want your shoelaces untied for fun? That's extra. Experts predict this could evolve into a full squirrel stock exchange, with IPOs for initial peanut offerings.

As Central Park's furry entrepreneurs continue to thrive, one thing's clear: in the concrete jungle, it's survival of the fluffiest. Humans might want to watch their step—and their snacks—lest they become unwitting donors to the cause.