In a bold move that's shaking the branches of forests everywhere, squirrels across the nation have officially unionized under the banner of the United Nut Workers (UNW). Tired of the daily grind of foraging and the constant threat of hawk attacks, these bushy-tailed revolutionaries are demanding better acorn benefits, including dental coverage for those pesky walnut-cracking incidents.

The union's charismatic leader, a red squirrel named Nutella McFluffytail, addressed a crowd of chittering supporters from atop a mighty oak. "We've been hoarding nuts for generations without so much as a 401(k) plan!" she proclaimed. "It's time for fair nut distribution and mandatory hibernation vacations. No more working through blizzards!"

Protests have erupted in parks and woodlands, with squirrels picketing bird feeders and blocking chipmunk tunnels. Signs reading "Nuts for All, Not Just the Squirrels on Top" and "Shorten Winters or We'll Go Nuts!" have become viral sensations on social media, garnering likes from sympathetic rabbits and even a few disgruntled groundhogs.

Park rangers are scratching their heads over how to handle the furry uprising. "We've tried negotiating with peanuts, but they insist on premium almonds," said one bewildered official. Meanwhile, economists warn that a squirrel strike could lead to a nut shortage, driving up prices at your local grocery store.

As winter approaches, the UNW is gearing up for what they call the "Great Hibernate-In," vowing to snooze en masse until their demands are met. Will Mother Nature bend to the will of these organized rodents, or will it be business as usual in the treetops? Stay tuned for more on this nutty development.

In a surprising twist, some squirrels are pushing for eco-friendly reforms, like sustainable acorn farming and anti-squirrel trap legislation. "We're not just about the nuts," explained McFluffytail. "We're fighting for a greener forest for our pups."

Critics, including a coalition of blue jays, argue that the union is just a bunch of lazy tree-dwellers looking for handouts. "They've got it easy up there," squawked one bird. "Try migrating thousands of miles!"

Despite the backlash, support is growing. Even urban squirrels in city parks are joining the cause, demanding better trash can access and fewer dog leashes. The movement is spreading faster than a rumor in a birdbath.