In a move that's got everyone from NASA to Ticketmaster scratching their heads, Taylor Swift has announced her latest tour: 'The Eras Tour: Martian Edition.' Fans didn't waste a nanosecond, snapping up every ticket before anyone could even figure out how to build a stadium on the red planet. Sources say the venue will be a state-of-the-art dome constructed from recycled Eras Tour merch, because why not turn those friendship bracelets into load-bearing walls?

Swifties across the globe—or should we say solar system—are already prepping for the ultimate pilgrimage. Forget Coachella outfits; the hot new trend is custom spacesuits bedazzled with lyrics from 'Anti-Hero.' One fan tweeted, 'I'd sell my soul to Elon Musk for a ticket,' which might actually be a viable payment method given the interplanetary logistics involved.

The tour promises to be out of this world, literally. Setlists will include gravity-defying performances of 'Shake It Off' in zero-G, and a special acoustic set under the Martian sunset. Rumors swirl that special guests could include actual aliens, or at least David Bowie's ghost, since he's the only one with prior experience in space-themed music.

Of course, not everyone's thrilled. Environmentalists are up in arms about the carbon footprint of shuttling millions of fans to Mars, but Swift's team assures us the rockets will run on sustainable fuel made from crushed dreams of her exes. Meanwhile, rival pop stars are left eating space dust—sorry, Beyoncé, but your Renaissance World Tour stops at Earth.

Critics question the feasibility: How do you amplify sound in a near-vacuum? Swift's response? 'We'll just turn it up to 11 and let the vibes echo through the cosmos.' Ticket prices start at a modest $10,000, including a complimentary oxygen tank and a signed photo of Taylor in a helmet that says 'Fearless (In Space).'

As the sold-out tour looms without a venue in sight, one thing's clear: Taylor Swift's empire isn't just expanding—it's colonizing. Who needs world domination when you can have planetary? Stay tuned for updates, or better yet, start training for that Mars marathon to snag a spot in the nosebleed section.