In a move that's sure to revolutionize the way we avoid exercise, tennis legend Serena Williams has been resurrected as a hologram coach. No, she's not dead—far from it—but her new app, 'Serena's Serve of Sass,' turns your smartphone into a virtual taskmaster. Forget lacing up those sneakers; now you can get yelled at by a digital diva while lounging on the couch.

The app promises to deliver Williams' signature motivational outbursts, like 'Get up and swing, you lazy bum!' or 'Is that all you've got? My grandma serves harder!' Developers claim it's perfect for millennials who prefer avocado toast over actual athleticism. Why hit the courts when you can have a hologram berate you from the comfort of your bed?

Critics are divided. Some hail it as the future of fitness, where physical effort is optional, and virtual scolding is mandatory. Others worry it might encourage even more screen time, turning users into potato-shaped zombies with impeccable virtual backhands. But hey, at least it's not another dating app.

Williams herself endorsed the project, saying in a press release, 'I've dominated the courts for years; now it's time to dominate your laziness.' The hologram even comes with customizable outfits, because nothing says motivation like a tennis skirt in neon pink.

Early adopters report mixed results. One user claimed, 'Serena's hologram made me run a mile... to the fridge.' Another said it was 'life-changing,' though they admitted to muting it after five minutes. Still, the app's popularity is skyrocketing, proving that in the digital age, even legends like Williams can be reduced to pixels and attitude.

What's next? Hologram coaches for every sport? Imagine Michael Jordan yelling at you to dunk from your desk chair. Or Tiger Woods critiquing your virtual swing while you binge-watch Netflix. The possibilities are endless, and so is the procrastination.

In the end, Serena's hologram might just be the kick in the pants that lazy millennials need—or it could be yet another excuse to stay sedentary. Either way, it's a serve that's aced the satire game.