Top Story · 2025-10-03
Tom Brady Retires Again, This Time to Pursue Career as Professional Napper
The NFL legend calls it quits for the umpteenth time, citing exhaustion from counting his Super Bowl rings in his sleep.
Rebellious Squirrels Stage Nut Heist, Outsmart Park Rangers with Acorn Disguises
A gang of crafty squirrels turns a city park into their personal buffet, leaving experts baffled and trees suspiciously bare.
Taylor Swift's New Album Drops, Fans Riot Over Lack of Hidden Messages About Her CatsSwifties are up in arms as the pop star's latest release focuses on love instead of feline conspiracy theories, sparking global disappointment.
Biden's Latest Gaffe: Mistakes Oval Office for Ice Cream Parlor, Demands Sprinkles on Foreign PolicyPresident Biden's mix-up during a press briefing leaves diplomats wondering if world peace comes with a cherry on top.
Microsoft's New AI Assistant Promises to Fix Your Life, But Only If You Surrender Your Soul FirstIn a bold move that has users questioning their privacy settings, Microsoft's latest AI vows to organize your emails while subtly judging your life choices.
NBA Star LeBron James Retires to Become Professional Pickleball InfluencerAfter dominating basketball, James pivots to pickleball, claiming it's the real future of sports and not just a midlife crisis hobby.
Rebellious Koalas Stage Sit-In at Eucalyptus Farm, Demanding Better Leaf QualityAustralian koalas unionize in a fluffy protest against subpar foliage, leaving zookeepers scratching their heads and marsupials munching triumphantly.
Taylor Swift's Latest Album Drops, Featuring Songs About Breakups with AI BoyfriendsSwift's new tracks explore the heartbreak of dating chatbots, proving even pop stars can't escape the robot apocalypse.
President Harris Announces Bold Plan to Tax Billionaires, Starting with Her Own Vice President's Yacht CollectionKamala Harris's new fiscal policy hilariously targets the ultra-wealthy, but insiders whisper it might just be a ploy to upgrade the White House pool.
Microsoft's New AI Assistant Promises to Fix Your Life, But Only If You Surrender Your Soul FirstIn a bold move that's totally not creepy, Microsoft's latest AI vows to organize your emails while subtly judging your life choices.
Flowers Evolve to Smell Like Coffee, Attracting Sleepy BeesBotanical breakthrough boosts pollination rates and morning buzz.
Squirrels Organize Nut-Sharing Co-Op in Central ParkRodents form tiny economy, trading acorns for park bench real estate.
Celebrity Chef Cooks Entire Meal Using Only EmojisInnovative recipe goes viral, leaving diners puzzled but full.