Archive · October 5, 2025
Squirrels Unionize, Demand Acorns with Benefits and Hazard Pay for Nut Cracking
Celebrity Chef's New Cookbook: 'How to Burn Water and Still Look Cool'
Rodent rebellion highlights inequality in the animal kingdom; humans advised to stock up on bird feeders for leverage.

Bestseller teaches the art of culinary disasters with style; reviewers say it's perfect for aspiring kitchen comedians.
Latest Smartphone Update Turns Users into Walking Emojis—LiterallyNew feature lets you express emotions with actual facial changes; critics worry about the rise of human bitmojis.
Soccer Star Scores Hat Trick, Accidentally Kicks Ball into Another DimensionFans stunned as goal goes viral for disappearing mid-air; physicists debate if it's a multiverse mishap or just bad aim.
President's New Plan: Tax Breaks for People Who Can Do a Perfect CartwheelIn a bid to boost national fitness, the White House declares acrobatics essential for economic recovery—clowns rejoice.
NBA Star LeBron James Invents New Dunk That Defies Gravity and Tax LawsLeBron's revolutionary slam not only scores points but also cleverly evades IRS scrutiny, making him the king of both court and loopholes.
Rebellious Squirrels Organize Nut Heist, Outsmarting Park Rangers with Acorn CamouflageA gang of crafty squirrels pulls off the heist of the century, leaving authorities scratching their heads over the furry felons' clever tactics.
Taylor Swift's New Album Drops, Causing Global Economy to Swiftly Recover from RecessionFans worldwide empty their wallets for the pop star's latest release, single-handedly boosting GDP and ending financial woes overnight.
Biden's Latest Gaffe: Declares War on His Own Teleprompter During Press ConferencePresident Biden hilariously battles his speech aid, leading to an impromptu declaration of independence from scripted remarks.
Apple's New iBrain Implant Promises to Make Users Smarter, But Only If They Pay the Subscription FeeIn a bold move, Apple unveils a neural implant that enhances cognition but requires a monthly premium to unlock full sarcasm detection.