Archive · October 9, 2025
NBA Star LeBron James Retires to Become Professional Napper, Cites 'Too Many Dunks' as Reason
Elephant Escapes Zoo, Joins Local Circus for Better Pay and Peanuts
The basketball legend hangs up his sneakers for a hammock, declaring that championship rings are no match for a good siesta.

This pachyderm's daring breakout highlights the wild side of animal labor rights, trunk-slamming the door on captivity.
Taylor Swift's New Album Drops, Fans Swiftly Empty Wallets for Vinyl That's Just a Blank DiscSwifties rejoice as the pop star's latest release turns out to be an elaborate prank, proving her music is best enjoyed in silence.
Biden's Latest Gaffe: Confuses Oval Office with Ice Cream Parlor, Orders a Double Scoop of DiplomacyPresident Biden's mix-up during a press conference leads to unexpected foreign policy flavors, leaving aides scrambling for sprinkles.
Microsoft's New AI Promises to Fix All Your Problems, Starting with Its Own GlitchesIn a bold move, Microsoft unveils an AI that's supposedly self-healing, but critics say it's just another way to blue-screen your productivity.